I'm on the plane now, I realise I should be really excited at this stage but I'm just not there yet. I'm just not sure about this adventure this time, I don't have that "good feeling" I usually get.
Instead, I have the feeling I get when I've been out clothes shopping, and I've bought some really fabulous article of glamour, that I absolutely love but that will promptly sit in my wardrobe for years (or my Dad's storage unit anyway) and never actually be worn. It'll just sit there, being beautiful never quite reaching it's full potential because instead of leaving it in the store to be purchased by someone who may actually take it out on the town, I own it just to hide it away, I am wasting it. I never should have bought it. I've made a bad move and every time I see the garment it reminds me.
This is the feeling I have now. I hope I haven't done the wrong thing.